I read my Bible every day. I study the Bible for sermons and bible classes because I am the minister and I like to learn about various things from the Bible.
With a normal Sunday on hold, much of my purposeful Bible study needs aren’t there any longer. Now I have to learn to study the Bible because that’s what I want to do. That’s a whole new norm for me. I don’t have a directed study purpose right now. I will admit it’s strange and I feel a little lost in the purpose of my Bible study.
Here’s what I have been learning this week. I need to stay connected to God. I need to stay connected because MY soul needs nourishment. Yes, I learn and am challenged as I prepare for classes and sermons, but this is all for me right now. I have the time to just think about my relationship with God.
Self-reflection is scary for me because I tend to be brutally honest with myself and my family. I have higher standards for us than for other members of the church. Not because we are the preacher’s family, but because we are MY family. I want us in heaven. I don’t want excuses, I don’t like deflection, I hate “everyone else is doing it.” I have discovered I have a lot of my mother’s high personal standards and expectations buried in me. I have been shaped by my dad’s integrity in personal reflection. I am a better man, husband, father because of what my parents have embedding in me without me realizing it. I am connected to God because my heart wants to be connected to God, not because it’s how I make a living.
Now, I’m not saying, “look how holy I am,” I’m saying I am discovering that God is truly a part of who I am, and I can’t separate job and faith. They are intertwined. I fail, I sin, I practice faith inconsistently, I don’t meet the standards I set for myself and that means I am not even close to the standards that God sets for me.
What do I do? Quit? Pretend all is good? Act like I have it all together? No. I am a drowning man desperately reaching my hand out to God. I am Peter after looking at the storm and starting to sink into the water. Luckily Jesus is right there reaching down and compassionately, but firmly telling me, “oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Here’s the part that gets lost in the Bible story. Matthew 14:32 says “and when they got into the boat.” Do you realize that when Jesus was holding his hand, Peter walked on the water back to the boat? When I hold the hand of Jesus, when I am connected to him, I can make it to safety…because He is safety.
When we understand that incredible thought, like the disciples we should worship him and say, “Truly you are the Son of God.” But we have to stay connected to God to be able to fully appreciate his strength in the storms of our life. How connected to God are you? Are you reaching out desperately? Are you walking hand in hand in His safety? Either way is a win as long as you are holding His hand. Connected.